The Ongoing Trials of Enjolras and Combeferre
by Miru-chan
Summary: Some random and true insanity involving Enjolras and Combeferre.
1. In Which E and C Discuss Becoming Women

**Enjolras:** So this is the twentieth century, is it? Where man's thoughts are laid out for all to see? This is aggravating. Yet, intriguing. For what better way to rally the people than to have my own thoughts laid out for the public to peruse?

I refuse to believe that France had become a republic. I haven't done any barricade construction since my, *sigh*, failure. So I'm quite certain that the people of my motherland are in peril. Here I am, across the sea. Such is the life of a revolutionary.

In other news, Combeferre has cooties. 

**Combeferre:** Enjolras has cooties! He does! Not me! However, I have a perfume named after me, I do.

**Miru-chan**: Oi 'ave perfeum noimed ahfter moi, Oi deo!

**Combeferre: **Shut up. *grumblegrumble* Anyway, I'm amused by this new contraption they call a computer. I typed up my Caesar poem again and again, then erased it, and then typed it again! How very fun!

A closing thought: Enjolras HAS COOOOOOOOOOOOTIES! 

**Enjolras:** You have many cooties, Combeferre, would it hurt you to bathe?

**Combeferre: **Hmph! Just because I don't bathe three times a day to keep Grantaire germs off me certainly does NOT mean I have cooties!

**Enjolras: **You don't? He's filthy! At least neither of us bathe every hour on the hour, no matter where we are, like JOLY.

**Combeferre: **Enjolras, have you noticed that the ONLY person concerned about Grantaire is... you? And I'm sure Joly carries around hand sanitizer too, for use every ten minutes or so.

**Enjolras: **I am still not convinced with your side of our argument this afternoon. Pinstripes do go nicely with plaid and I think I'll wear them together tomorrow.  
And everyone should be concerned about Grantaire, including himself. He needs a haircut, and a shave. And AA. *shudder*

**Combeferre: **What, are you getting your fashion advice from Prouvaire?

**Enjolras: **Should I not be? Also, I've been getting it from Seventeen Magazine.  
Where are the other Les Amis?

**Combeferre: ***groan* If you haven't realized, Jehan is not the most... err... how can I say this nicely... HE HAS NO TASTE IN CLOTHING WHATSOEVER.   
I prefer Cosmo myself.

**Enjolras**: Wait a second... 

**Enjolras**: Aren't those magazines women's magazines, Combeferre?

**Combeferre:** *shifty eyes*

**Enjolras:** Well, I've been getting them from Marius.

**Combeferre:** As have I. Wait...

**Enjolras:** What?

**Combeferre:** Well, Marius always seemed a little... err....

**Enjolras**: Yes, I know what you mean...

**Enjolras**: Maybe I should wash this eyeliner off...

**Enjolras**: He said it would bring out my eyes, but I was skeptical...

**Combeferre:** And maybe this blush isn't quite right for me...

**Enjolras**: Do you still have the shirt he knitted you for Christmas?

**Combeferre:** The one that's pink and frilly?

**Enjolras**: Yes, that one.

**Enjolras**: I have mine too.

**Combeferre:** Um, well, yes.

**Enjolras**: You're wearing it now, aren't you??

**Combeferre:** HOW DID YOU KNOW? *bursts into tears*

**Enjolras**: Calm down, Combeferre, we are not girls like Marius!

**Combeferre:** No. You're right. We're not. Uh-oh, my hair is starting to uncurl... 

**Enjolras**: Jehan Prouvaire says the fashionable hairstyle is not washing it.

**Enjolras**: You heard me, Jehan Prouvaire!!!

**Combeferre:** I always liked Prouvaire...

**Enjolras**: Wait, where the heck was he this afternoon?

**Combeferre:** Where was who on what afternoon?

**Enjolras**: Where was Prouvaire at the meeting?

**Combeferre: **...there was a meeting today?

**Enjolras**: Yes, you were there.

**Combeferre:** I was? Must have dozed off...

**Combeferre:** I mean, no, I would NEVER sleep during one of your... speeches, Enjolras.

**Enjolras**: Afterwards we argued over the pinstripes.

**Enjolras**: My speeches are wonderful.

**Enjolras**: But seriously, Combeferre, Did Marius bring that grisette today?

**Combeferre:** Did Marius come to the meeting, too?

**Enjolras**: Yes, he did.

**Combeferre:** Was he the one poking me awake? Or was that... you... 

**Enjolras**: That was Cosette, actually.

**Combeferre:** Ahh, Cosette. But if Cosette is a girl, then Marius--

**Enjolras**: That girl, she has the most idiotic notions. "Can't the barricade be pink? It would be ever so much better to look at then, wouldn't it?"

**Combeferre:** Personally, I think it should be a nice shade of purple-

**Enjolras**: I'm nearly certain that it's best not to contemplate him...No! We aren't painting it!!

**Combeferre:** Awwwwww! *whines* But why nooooooot?

**Enjolras**: Because it's not about colours!

**Enjolras**: It's going to be yellow anyway.

**Enjolras**: We voted this afternoon.

**Combeferre:** THAT'LL TEACH ME NOT TO SLEEP DURING MEETINGS!

**Enjolras**: Yes, won't it? Purple would have won if there were one more vote!

**Combeferre:** But, but, but I'M THE SECOND IN COMMAND!

**Enjolras**: Too bad, it's a republic.

**Enjolras**: And furthermore, we had a second vote.

**Combeferre:** How do you think blond highlights would look on me? Um, I mean-- vive la republique?

**Enjolras**: Grantaire is now second in command.

**Combeferre:** WHAT???

**Combeferre:** BUT... YOU... AND... HE... AND…

**Enjolras**: Don't worry, I fixed it.

**Enjolras**: Hey, I was going to get highlights! I mean- Vive France!

**Combeferre:** Well, at least I can shop in peace at Abercrombie and Fitch, er- um- LONG LIVE THE FUTURE!

**Enjolras**: Are you a preppie, Combeferre?

**Combeferre:** Well, you know, they do have some nice dresses there, errrr...

**Enjolras**: Hmmm...

**Enjolras**: Combeferre, I shall never understand you.

**Combeferre:** But Enjolras, I caught you at American Eagle! I did! Don't think nobody saw you!

**Enjolras**: Marius dragged me there! I swear!

**Enjolras**: I saw you at the make-up counter in Dayton's!!

**Combeferre:** I was only trying some green eye shadow; Marius suggested that I put some on!

**Enjolras**: Ah yes, you looked quite good actually.

**Combeferre:** Why, thank you. 

**Enjolras**: Did you buy it?

**Combeferre:** I... Well, I guess I sort of ended up buying it along with a FEW other colors. *looks behind him to stacks and stacks of eye shadow*

**Combeferre:** I got a nice discount! Apparently Marius has connections.

**Enjolras**: *nervously counts a drawer of lipsticks*

**Enjolras**: MARIUS MARIUS MARIUS!

**Enjolras**: I'm rather tired of him. Let's talk about some one else.

**Combeferre:** All right. 

**Enjolras**: Do you think R is in love with me, perish the thought?

**Combeferre:** R? No, no, but possibly Cou- I'm sorry, I was sworn to secrecy...

**Enjolras**: Please tell me? *coy look*

**Combeferre:** But he would... he would... he would... *imagines death*

**Enjolras**: Courfeyrac? The worst he could do would be to tell his mother, and we all know what a load of help that would be, seeing as she's not living and all.

**Combeferre:** BUT HE FOUND MONTPARNASSE'S KNIFE!

**Enjolras**: Yes, and he gave it to me.

**Combeferre:** If- if- if you're sure...

**Enjolras**: I used it to carve a turkey.

**Enjolras**: Then it broke. Yes, I'm sure.

**Combeferre:** Then yes, Courfeyrac, but- but- don't tell him I told you.

**Enjolras**: *considers pushing Courfeyrac off a cliff* I won't tell him you told me.

**Combeferre: **But believe me, he'd take the watch any day, if you asked him to!

**Enjolras**: Should I allow Grantaire in the Cafe anymore?

**Combeferre:** Why wouldn't you? I mean, he needs to do SOMETHING to keep from being suicidal.

**Enjolras**: Ah yes, remember my birthday? 

**Combeferre:** All too well.

**Enjolras**: What did you give me again?

**Enjolras**: I have to go. Rebel matters.

**Combeferre:**  Ah, I understand.

**Combeferre: **Bye, Enjolras!

**Enjolras: **Bye!


	2. Fellytones and Suspicious Relationships

Once again, we join Combeferre and Enjolras in the Café Musain, debating the ever-constant topic around these parts…

**Combeferre:** No, you.

**Enjolras:** No, you!

**Combeferre:** No, you!

**Enjolras:** Okay, let's make a truce and say Grantaire has cooties.

**Combeferre:** All right.

**Enjolras:** Yay! Truce!

**Enjolras:** I'm Enjolras so you all must listen to me.

**Combeferre:** NOO! I AM BEING OPRESSED! 

**Enjolras:** No, you aren't! How are you being oppressed?

**Combeferre:** I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO YOU! 

**Enjolras:** You voted for me!

**Combeferre:** I voted for Courfeyrac!

**Enjolras:** No you didn't! 

**Combeferre:** All right.

**Enjolras:** You didn't vote for him!

**Enjolras:** He wasn't on the ballot.

**Combeferre:** But I diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiid!

**Enjolras:** That's odd, how can you vote for someone who isn't on the ballot?

**Combeferre:** Err...

**Enjolras:** Did Joly call you in the early morning screaming on how he's got the plague?

**Combeferre:** Didn't he call everybody?

**Enjolras:** He must have. Then everyone called ME to complain.

**Enjolras:** What was I supposed to do about it?

**Combeferre:** I think something should be done about Joly. He's such a nuisance!

**Enjolras:** I agree! I can barely use a fellytone in the day, let alone in the middle of the night!

**Combeferre:** It's not that complicated, Enjolras. You just push the 3 button, then the 8 button, then any combination of buttons until you get the number you want.

**Enjolras:** Why do you press 3 and 8?

**Combeferre:** Not sure, exactly.

**Enjolras:** Okay, let's see if I can ring you...

**Enjolras:** Is your fellytone ringing?

**Combeferre:** *shakes head*

**Enjolras:** Why, Combeferre? You know Chinese?

**Enjolras:** But, Combeferre...

**Enjolras:** Why don't you speak French so I can understand you? I don't know Chinese!!

**Combeferre:** Er, Enjolras? I only know French. I think- I think you pressed the wrong numbers.

**Enjolras:** But, I like nine so very much.

**Enjolras:** *presses random nines*

**Combeferre:** *presses random fives*

**Enjolras:** Um, Combeferre, I attempted to order a pizza last night but a whole lot of women showed up on my doorstep...

**Enjolras:** I was less than pleased.

**Combeferre:** Er, er, er... Enjolras? Would you, um, mind giving me that, uh, number?

**Enjolras:** No!

**Combeferre:** Dang.

**Combeferre:** But... but... BUT!

**Enjolras:** Are you running a secret bordello?? I'm shocked!

**Enjolras:** And awed!

**Combeferre:** I- I...

**Combeferre:** I am NOT!

**Enjolras:** Well, then, what went wrong?

**Enjolras:** Oh, wait, wasn't R staying at your place for a couple of days last week?

**Combeferre:** Yes... and I guess that would explain all the empty bottles I've been finding... was wondering about those.

**Enjolras:** Unless you drink in your sleep.

**Combeferre:** Is that possible?

**Enjolras:** I watched a Dateline special on it, of course it's possible!

**Combeferre:** *gasp* But what if I-

**Enjolras:** Combeferre, there is a higher call!

**Combeferre:** *fastens phone to ceiling*

**Enjolras:** Take your fellytone down, how will you reach it?

**Combeferre:** Do I ever get any calls?

**Enjolras:** Yes, don't you get many from Joly?

**Combeferre:** In that case, I think I'll leave it up there.

**Enjolras:** And didn't I call you once?

**Combeferre:** Did you?

**Enjolras:** I think I did...but I couldn't understand you.

**Enjolras:** You were yelling into the receiver in English.

**Combeferre:** How many times have I told you, I only speak French!

**Enjolras:** Well, whenever I try to call you I get anything but French.

**Enjolras:** Oh, wait. Some random girl just programmed you into my speed dial, under 'police'.

**Combeferre:** Yay!

**Enjolras:** No, that higher call I'm talking about is...*drumroll* Courfeyrac's surprise birthday party at the Cafe tomorrow, in lieu of the meeting.

**Combeferre:** Yay for Courfeyrac! *coughwhowouldmakeabetterleaderforsurecough*

**Enjolras:** No, I haven't planned it yet, that's the problem.

**Enjolras:** You need to help me.

**Enjolras:** Hmm...does he eat cake?

**Combeferre:** Well, I've never planned a birthday party... But if it's anything like yours, we'd better watch everybody so that none of them jump off a balcony. 

**Combeferre:** Chocolate or vanilla?

**Enjolras:** I don't know, should I call him and ask which he likes better?

**Enjolras:** And, for your information, my birthday was a huge success!

**Combeferre:** I think you'd better.

**Enjolras:** But then wouldn't he know about the party?

**Combeferre:** Ahh, a huge success. Flight and planes, I don't think so!

**Combeferre:** Hmm, well, I'm pretty sure he likes chocolate cake more... But maybe not.

**Enjolras:** Let's do marble.

**Combeferre:** All right.

**Enjolras:** Um, do you think he should get any presents?

**Combeferre:** Like what?

**Enjolras:** Um, I got him a...a... I can't think of its name...

**Combeferre:** I think I'll buy him one of those waffle irons. They're quite nifty.

**Enjolras:** Um, I'm trying to remember what I got him...let's see...

**Enjolras:** Um, it's flat and round, and when you put it into a thing it makes noises.

**Combeferre:** Flat AND round?

**Enjolras:** It's circular.

**Combeferre:** Ahh. I think he'd be better off with a goldfish.

**Enjolras:** I put it into one of those things and it sounded like a bunch of people yelling at me (with a nice beat in the background)...

**Enjolras:** Ah! I remember!

**Enjolras:** A CD! 

**Combeferre:** I heard one once. The guy thought he was you, Enjolras!

**Enjolras:** He did?

**Combeferre:** He was stealing your lines!

**Enjolras:** Oh, no! Why??

**Combeferre:** I don't know!

**Enjolras:** Did he rally the people, call them to arms, and bring them in line?

**Combeferre:** He attempted to, but he just wasn't a good leader like Courfeyrac- I mean, like you.

**Enjolras:** Did he *looks sad* win the insurrection?

**Combeferre:** He… he stole your death scene, too!

**Enjolras:** WHAT??

**Enjolras:** Should I sue? I hear Pontmercy's a lawyer.

**Combeferre:** I don't think we can trust him. The eye shadow, remember? However, this fellow, Billy Flynn...

**Enjolras:** Hmm...

**Enjolras:** I don't see what Cosette sees in Marius.

**Enjolras:** I mean, what's so great about him?

**Combeferre:** I guess that maybe she thinks under all the concealer there's some sort of *shudder* man.

**Enjolras:** Really?

**Enjolras:** She's dumber than we thought.

**Combeferre:** I agree.

**Enjolras:** Joly just called me again!

**Combeferre:** About what?

**Enjolras:** Ah, no tragic illness. Courfey's birthday.

**Enjolras:** He got him a waffle iron.

**Combeferre:** BUT-

**Combeferre:** BUT-

**Combeferre:** BUT-

**Combeferre:** WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO GET HIM?

**Enjolras:** A trucker hat?

**Combeferre:** Maybe I'll steal Eponine's hat and give it to him. They're all the rage, you know. (Author's note: Are we the only people who have noticed Eponine-style hats being sold ALL OVER? At least they are in the Mall of America.)

**Enjolras:** Jehan says that the newest fad is not taking a shower.

**Combeferre:** Does he, now?

**Enjolras:** Yes, and he could certainly use one.

**Enjolras:** I mean, he's going to get Grantaire germs, for heavens sake!

**Combeferre:** Grantaire isn't THAT bad!

**Enjolras:** Yes, he is!

**Combeferre:** What did he ever do to you?

**Enjolras:** He hovers around me all the time, and invades my personal space.

**Combeferre:** Besides that...

**Enjolras:** *shifty eyes*

**Enjolras:** He stole my girlfriend. *suspicious*

**Combeferre:**...YOU had a GIRLFRIEND? Ahh, Marius, I suppose.

**Enjolras:** No, I didn't.

**Enjolras:** Hey, be quiet!

**Enjolras:** It was one-sided, I assure you.

**Combeferre:** I would never sink that low.

**Enjolras:** Hey, I didn't do anything!

**Combeferre:** Eye shadow, yes. Blush, yes. But never... never Marius!!

**Enjolras:** It was one sided, heavens to Lamarque!

**Enjolras:** He was in love with me, and I pushed him off a cliff (like I'm planning to do with Courfeyrac tomorrow)

**Combeferre:** I doubt that!

**Enjolras:** I wasn't in love with him!

**Enjolras:** Did he tell the whole blasted Cafe these lies?

**Combeferre:** I'm sure you weren't! *holds up a love letter with a poem on it* "Dear Marius... ... ... Love, Enjolras." *scoffs*

**Enjolras:** I so did not write that!

**Combeferre:** It's in your handwriting! In red and black ink!

**Enjolras:** What's the poem say?

**Enjolras:** No, no, no!

**Enjolras:** I didn't do it...I didn't do it...I'd rather...Grantaire than Marius...HELP ME, LOST SOUL OF LAMARAQUE!

**Combeferre:** Stop lying, Enjolras! 

**Enjolras:** *cries* It wasn't me, I swear...*boo hoo*

**Combeferre:** *hands him the letter* How can you say you never wrote this? Marius must be HEARTBROKEN to hear that!

**Enjolras:** Hey wait!

**Enjolras:** The poem reads:

Se Ceasar M'avait donne la gloire et le guerre

et qu'ill me fallut quitter l'amour de ma MARIUS

Je dirais au Grande Ceasar

reprends ton septre et ton char

J'aime meux MARIUS o gue!

J'aime meux ma MARIUS

**Enjolras:** And it's written in PURPLE!

**Combeferre:** WHAT? I'VE BEEN FRAMED!!

**Combeferre:** And what can I say? I'm colorblind!

**Enjolras:** Don't you have glasses for that? 

**Combeferre:** *hits head* Yes, Enjolras, my glasses for colorblindness.

**Enjolras:** Hey...this is Cosette's handwriting.

**Combeferre:** Cosette thinks she's Enjolras? *scratches head*

**Enjolras:** No, she thinks YOU'RE Enjolras.

**Enjolras:** She's not bright.

**Combeferre:** Apparently not.

**Enjolras:** Okay, that was a pintless argument, as Grantaire is inclined to say.

**Enjolras:** Hey, I think I got your number right!

**Enjolras:** Is your fellytone ringing?

**Combeferre:** *shakes head again*

**Enjolras:** Crap.

**Enjolras:** Um, I've gotten a hold of...some girl.

**Enjolras:** She's yelling into the phone about how great I am.

**Combeferre:** Why do YOU always manage to get the girls??

**Enjolras:** Look, you want to talk to her?

**Combeferre:** Well, if she likes you... no. NOBODY LIKES ME! *cries*

**Enjolras:** *hands receiver magically to Combeferre* Here, talk! 

**Combeferre:** POIVRE! **

**Enjolras:** Poivre?

**Combeferre:** Yes.

**Combeferre:** *shrugs* I just felt like saying pepper.

**Enjolras:** Give the phone back.

**Combeferre:** If you insist.

**Poivre: pepper.


	3. Marius and ME?

**Enjolras:** Haha, Audric.

**Combeferre:** Haha, JULIEN.

**Enjolras:** No, I didn't think you'd retaliate.

**Enjolras:** That never happened, did it?

**Combeferre:** What?

**Enjolras:** That wasp's nest thing. I mean, unless you did some stuff that I never was informed about. Like when Marius was sleeping in YOUR apartment that one week.

**Combeferre:** WHAT?

**Combeferre:** MARIUS? AND ME??

**Enjolras:** He was staying at your flat!

v But we didn't- I mean- UGH!

**Enjolras:** I heard it from Cosette.

v She wants to paint the barricade pink.

**Enjolras:** I didn't believe her, I was merely stating...

**Enjolras:** Besides, I know you're in love with Musichetta!

**Enjolras:** I should tell Joly!!

**Combeferre:** I- NO, excuse me, but I most certainly do not fall in love with my friend's girlfriends! 

**Enjolras:** Wait, Combeferre!

**Enjolras:** We've got to stop acting like giggly teens!

**Combeferre:** Oh, but why?

**Enjolras:** Because we do...

**Combeferre:** Aren't we French, though?

**Enjolras:** Ah, good point.

**Enjolras:** Courfeyrac's party was a disaster. He did seem to like your waffle iron though.

**Combeferre:** Ugh, the frilly pink nightgown...

**Enjolras:** He didn't like that one, did he? Nor did he like my present.

**Combeferre:** I- I forgot what you gave him...

**Enjolras:** The CD.

**Combeferre:** Ah, yeah.

**Enjolras:** The one that has that tough looking man on the cover and a bunch of yelling on it.

**Enjolras:** Then again, I didn't like it either.

**Combeferre:** Britney Spears?

**Enjolras:** Yes, that must be who it was.

**Combeferre:** That's what I thought.

**Enjolras:** I don't listen to DC's myself.

**Combeferre:** I don't like them too much.

**Enjolras:** They taste all right, though.

**Enjolras:** How is Grantaire doing? Did I shatter him too terribly much when I ate that Jell-O?

**Combeferre:** He's been crying his eyes out since then!

**Enjolras:** Hmm, I feel a twinge of remorse...

**Enjolras:** Was he going to eat it?

**Combeferre:** Was it good Jell-O?

**Combeferre:** No, I doubt it.

**Enjolras:** Yes, lime.

**Enjolras:** Well, whatever. I sent Courfeyrac over to his flat to take the watch and make sure he doesn't try to kill himself again.

**Combeferre:** Good.

**Combeferre:** Say, how are you going to deal with Courfey?

**Enjolras:** I don't know, he needs to be dealt with?

**Combeferre:** Well, he seems to... err... admire you. 

**Enjolras:** That's right!

**Enjolras:** We'll discuss it later. 

**Combeferre:** All right.

**Enjolras:** Bye!

**Combeferre:** Bye! 


	4. So Long, Farewell!

**Enjolras:** Combeferre, you look bored.

**Combeferre**: Bored? Me? *yawn* Never.

**Enjolras:** Well, you should be revolting!

**Enjolras:** And by that I mean disgusting.

**Combeferre:** You do realize that made no sense.

**Enjolras:** I'm rather bored myself; I haven't anything to yell about.

**Combeferre:** So, we're bored.

**Enjolras:** So of course it didn't make sense.

**Enjolras:** We could...build a barricade!

**Combeferre:** Enjolras, you already thought of that plan.

**Enjolras:** Well, we could pass out flyers and sing!

**Combeferre:** I have no vocal talent!

**Enjolras:** Ah, well, you should take lessons with me.

**Enjolras:** Want to push Courfeyrac off a cliff?

**Combeferre:** Aww, that'd just be cruel! He likes you so much!

**Enjolras:** Yes, exactly! That's why he gets pushed off a cliff.

**Enjolras:** Okay, so I guess that's another idea out.

**Combeferre:** Guess so.

**Enjolras:** I don't see you coming up with any ideas.

**Combeferre:** No, you don't.

**Enjolras:** Well, you come up with something.

**Combeferre:** We could all get ourselves shot, except, er, that's what your barricade idea is for... *thinks*

**Enjolras:** Keep thinking, you're supposed to be the logic.

**Enjolras:** Um, what's that game R was talking about?

**Enjolras:** Truth and Ruth?

**Enjolras:** Truth and Druth?

**Combeferre**: Dare, Enjolras, dare.

**Enjolras:** Dare and Ruth?

**Combeferre:** Aiii.

**Enjolras:** Truth or dare?

**Combeferre:** We don't KNOW anybody named Ruth!

**Enjolras:** Ah, that's the truth.

**Enjolras:** So how do you play it?

**Combeferre:** I think you just ask... a question. Or something of the sort.

**Enjolras: **And don't you get to choose, either a question or a humiliating stunt?

**Combeferre:** Ahh, indeed.

**Combeferre: ***coughgettingshotcough*

**Enjolras:** Okay, question or humiliating stunt?

**Combeferre:** I guess, er, question.

**Enjolras:** Are you willing to get shot on my barricade?

**Combeferre:** Ah- ah- Not, not really...

**Combeferre:** *shifty eyes*

**Enjolras:** Aha! I knew it!

**Enjolras:** Your turn.

**Combeferre:** What's the truth about you and Grantaire?

**Combeferre:** No, you have no choice.

**Combeferre:** At all.

**Enjolras:** Er, well y'see...

**Enjolras:** Erm, well...

**Enjolras:** Can I do a humiliating stunt?

**Combeferre:** How many humiliating stunts can you do in an empty cafe at midnight?

**Enjolras:** Heavens to Lamarque, I guess I'll have to answer...

**Enjolras:** Um, Grantaire is just my friend.

**Enjolras:** With, er, privileges.

**Enjolras:** Um, question or humiliating stunt?

**Combeferre:** Question.

**Combeferre:** Not much of a CHOICE there!

**Enjolras:** Okay, do you wear girls' underwear?

**Combeferre:** I'm sorry, no, I don't... *odd glare* Do you?

**Enjolras:** Just a question...

**Combeferre:** All right then.

**Combeferre:** Do you really believe in this barricade stuff?

**Enjolras:** *gets teary eyed* Yes, of course I do...

**Combeferre:** And you're gonna die for it?

**Enjolras:** *sniff* If I have to, I have to.

**Enjolras:** Hey! That was two questions!

**Combeferre:** *shifty eyes*

**Combeferre:** Was not.

**Enjolras:** Okay, fine.

**Combeferre:** *simulates Monty Python* Was not! "Was too!" Was not! Hey, this isn't an argument! "It is!" No it isn't! I came here for a good argument! "No you didn't, you came here for an argument!"

**Enjolras:** Oh, wait, sorry. Question or humiliating stunt?

**Combeferre:** Question.

**Enjolras:** Would you kiss Pontmercy for 1000 Francs?

**Combeferre:** Guess so. He IS kinda cute, after all. In a girly way.

**Enjolras:** Ah, and we all know you like the men.

**Combeferre:** At least I know that there is something OTHER than men, Enjolras!

**Enjolras:** Well, see...that's not what Viccy meant.

**Combeferre:** I wouldn't be surprised, knowing you...

**Enjolras:** Um, my question!

**Combeferre:** Hey, I asked you two! You have to ask me two!

**Enjolras:** Fine, fine. Do you like Jehan?

**Combeferre:** How many times do I have to an- I- err............. *coughuhhyeahcough* SHUT UP.

**Combeferre:** Do you happen to like any certain members of Les Amis?

**Enjolras:** No, no I don't.

**Enjolras:** However...

**Combeferre:** However?

**Enjolras:** That shirt is quite becoming on you, Combeferre! There I said it.

**Combeferre:** Why thank you, Enjolras.

**Enjolras:** *shifty eyes*

**Combeferre:** *shifty eyes* ...what?

**Enjolras:** Nothing...

**Enjolras:** Your question is...

**Combeferre:** Nothing WHAT...

**Combeferre:** My question is nothing WHAT?

**Enjolras:** No, your question is...

**Combeferre:** Ahh.

**Combeferre:** My question.

**Combeferre:** That one I should answer.

**Enjolras:** Do you ever drink too much, with... say...Grantaire?

**Combeferre:** Too much? Not too much, no.

**Enjolras:** Okay then, as long as we're clear.

**Combeferre:** However, I must ask now: Nothing what?

**Enjolras:** YOUR SHIRT IS ACTUALLY QUITE UGLY!!

**Enjolras:** There, you asked for it.

**Combeferre:** WHAT?? *runs away crying*

**Enjolras:** Come back!

**Combeferre:** I hate you too, Enjolras!

**Enjolras:** Fine then. I'll leave.

**Combeferre:** Fine!!!

**Enjolras:** Okay then!

**Combeferre:** Go get shot at a barricade! *sobs*

**Enjolras:** I'm sorry, it had to be said. Have you been getting tips from Prouvaire?

**Combeferre:** *hmph* Are you implying that I don't even bring my own CLOTHES when I sleep over there? OH CRAP.

**Enjolras:** Flight and planes!

**Enjolras:** Are you friends with privileges?

**Combeferre:** Not QUITE like you and Grantaire. *cough*

**Enjolras:** Hey! Never discuss that again!

**Combeferre:** You and R! You and R!

**Enjolras:** I saw you leave Pontmercy, don't think i didn't!

**Combeferre:** Pshh, he was bringing me to his house to pick up some of my books that I borrowed to him!

**Enjolras:** Ahh, if you call that a book...to each his own I suppose.

**Combeferre:** EXCUSE ME?

**Combeferre:** I think Marius is cute, but not- not- NOT!!!

**Enjolras:** That's what you get for mentioning R and me after I told you not to1

**Combeferre:** I'll shut up! I will!

**Enjolras:** You'd better, or soon I'll start spreading rumors.

**Combeferre:** Okay! Okay!

**Combeferre:** Whose turn was it, now?

**Enjolras:** Mine. Ask me a question.

**Combeferre:** How do YOU feel about Pontmercy?

**Enjolras:** I am personally annoyed by him.

**Combeferre:** Are you sure?

**Enjolras:** I am absolutely sure.

**Combeferre:** Ok-aa-aay.

**Enjolras:** Don't even, 'Ferre.

**Combeferre:** I don't know what you mean. *innocent grin*

**Enjolras:** *punches Ferre in face*

**Combeferre:** AHH! *runs away crying again*

**Enjolras:** Haha, you deserved it.

**Combeferre:** I hate you!

**Enjolras:** Well, sorry.

**Enjolras:** *whispers* not.

**Combeferre:** Go build your barricade yourself!

**Enjolras:** I need you!

**Enjolras:** I'm sorry I punched you in the face.

**Combeferre:** Do not!

**Combeferre:** You are not!

**Enjolras:** I am, now!

**Combeferre:** I don't believe you!!

**Enjolras:** *cries*

**Combeferre:** You can't make me feel sorry for you!

**Enjolras:** I love you Combeferre! Can't you tell?

**Combeferre:** *sniff sniff* I... I DON'T CARE!

**Enjolras:** Fine, I'll just go then.

**Combeferre:** Fine!!

**Enjolras:** I'm sorry, please forgive me!

**Combeferre:** You can go see your "friend," Grantaire!

**Combeferre:** I will not!

**Enjolras:** I'm sorry, 'Ferre!

**Combeferre:** I- I guess I accept... your apology.

**Enjolras:** Yay!


End file.
